Everyone acknowledges that talking about race relations and culture differences, especially when in mixed company, is generally uncomfortable. Granted, in the context of a course or political discussion where we can intellectualize it, as if it all occurs somewhere out there, we do just fine.  But when it comes to discussing what these differences actually mean to each of us, how they impact us, we experience anxiety and often have difficulty managing the emotions involved.

We perceive these discussions to be difficult, and so, we avoid them altogether.  We argue that diversity programs are pointless and only serve to reinforce our differences, as if difference, in and of itself, is a bad thing.  And, we fight against affirmative action, falsely believing that we understand quite well what it must be like to be someone else, "other than," different from ourselves.

Making Interdependence the Goal

Stephen Covey, in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, discusses how interpersonal effectiveness progresses along a maturity continuum from dependence, to independence, to interdependence.  Interdependence is defined as "the paradigm of we--we can do it; we can cooperate; we can combine our talents and abilities to create something greater together."  He also acknowledges that we, as a society, however, only strive to be independent-believing that to be the pinnacle of achievement.  

"Independent people who do not have the maturity to think and act interdependently may be good individual producers, but they won't be good leaders or team players," says Covey.  And I believe this very concept to be the key provider of fuel for the dogged persistence of race-relations issues in America.

We, as a society, have so much to learn.  From birth we teach "every man for himself," and then later in life spend millions of dollars per year on teambuilding activities in the workplace.  Deep down we want to believe that strained race-relations in this country only affect minorities.  But we are wrong. 

• Psychologists analyze why there are difficulties in retaining those who are not of the dominant culture--one APA article warned of risking obsolescence if the field did not figure out how to bridge these gaps, and effectively service this growing population. 
• Organizations cut diversity programs, struggle to meet EEOC guidelines, and fail to promote harmony in the workplace. 
• Hate groups are growing--some inconspicuously disguised, posing as religion--based organizations.
• Outdated stereotypes continue to serve as blinders and influence the lens through which we see one another.

Naming the Elephant Whether we personally hold biased views (knowingly or unknowingly), or simply choose to remain silent while others voice theirs, we must acknowledge that in so doing, each of us plays a direct role in perpetuating these issues.  We must also look closely, and examine the impact this has on our own quality of life-because it does impact each one of us.  When we understand the importance of interdependence-the need to work together across colors and cultures to create change-only then can we begin to own race relations as a collective issue.  And only then can we begin to take the first baby-like steps toward interdependence and a better future for our children.

Susan Eckert, MA, CCM, CPRW is a consultant, trainer and professional coach. Her website, http://www.advancecareerdevelopment.com offers a free subscription to a monthly career management newsletter, e-books, articles and tips. An upcoming resource center will also feature e-courses. Visit her website or contact her at 800-824-6611 for more information about how ACPD can help you/your organization be more effective.

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