There is one gift you can give many times, every day, and it won’t cost you a cent. It is highly prized. In fact, I’ve been literally moved to tears when I’ve received it. And you’d think that since it’s so inexpensive, I’d give it all the time, but I don’t often think about it. Maybe you don’t either.

It’s the gift of active listening.

Who among us has barely been able to restrain themselves from interrupting someone talking, either because we knew the answer or were bubbling over with enthusiasm and just had to throw in our two cents? Or been so distracted we hardly notice someone is speaking?

My hand is up.

In listening to someone speak, who has not at some time anticipated the outcome or heard their words through a personal bias, thereby missing the undercurrent, the unspoken?

You talk and people listen to you every day. So what makes this "active" type special?

When it first happened to me, the person looked straight at me, like they weren’t trying to balance their checkbook in their head at the same time. I had their full attention. They sat facing me, and they hung on every word. Initially, it was very disconcerting. At that point I realized that I had not experienced this before, and I became aware that I felt special; it was an odd feeling that made me want to tear up. When I finished my thought, my new friend sat for a moment, then said, "What I hear you saying is that..." and reflected back to me my thought. Accurately.

I’ve been watching conversations since then, and what surprises me the most about this way of listening is that it doesn’t happen often. I know most of the time we rush about under time constraints, each ear a part of a different conversation. But when being heard is vital, isn’t that what you want?

Then we have sacred listening.

In her ground-breaking book, The Art of Sacred Listening, author Kay Lindahl writes, "The way we listen actually can allow another to bring forth what is true and alive to them."

For souls that have not been validated in this way, it can take some healing. Finding someone that really listens may release a gusher of words. She continues, "Sometimes we have to do a lot of listening before the fountain is replenished. Patience is required to listen to such a person long enough that they get to their center point of tranquility and peace."

Most often, we half-listen with our heads. With sacred listening, you also bring your heart, love, compassion, empathy and spirituality. You, co-creator with the Creator, are fully present, giving the gift of yourself and God’s love.

You can do this. You can change a life (and your own) by giving this gift to your child, spouse, friend, co-worker.

Practice makes perfect.